Once again an interesting project was dropped in my lap recently.
The health center here in Taulabe has a committee that receives funding for activities that are specifically HIV/AIDS related. (I have a feeling it’s PEPFAR related but I have no confirmation of that) This committee is trying to revive a support group for people in the municipality infected with HIV. Apparently this group met pretty frequently a few years back but fizzled out because people stopped coming. They didn’t say why*.
So now my sitemate and I and some others from the health center have been laden with the task of reviving this group. At first Leticia and I were skeptical. Despite our accumulated experiences and knowledge (which is vast, don’t get me wrong) neither of us felt like we were the most qualified to counsel and/or advise a group of people with HIV. But we begrudgingly agreed. It is part of the job after all.
Recently though, things have gotten pretty busy around the health center. On the day our first meeting was scheduled there were like four other things going on, so we had to divide and conquer. While my sitemate went to lead Mammography Day at the h.c., yours truly was assigned to the HIV+ meeting. Fortunately my friend Catie was in town due to broken her arm and was staying with me until her next doctor’s appointment. So I dragged her in too.
To my relief the committee had done most of the work as far as planning goes. They picked the locale, (a very nice restaurant with private meeting rooms just outside of town) and they acquired the funds to feed everyone after the meeting. They also invited all the HIV+ people on record within the community. Discretely of course. From what I heard about 35 people were spoken to.
So what was left for me to do? For the first meeting they just asked that I prepare some ice breakers and a brief presentation on self-esteem and personal motivation. Initially I was a little daunted with this task. I almost asked if could do something else. What could I possibly have to say to a group of people who are most likely poor, sick and ostracized? How do I tell them to get excited about their lives without it sounding hollow or trite?
As I racked my brain for new ideas, I realized I had just done self-esteem day with my Yo Merzco girls and already had a few things prepared on the topic. A couple of games, interactive activities, and some simple questions to prompt discussion. Perfect. Adults aren’t so different from 11-year-old girls, right?
On the day of the meeting we had a whopping five people show up. Out of 35 that were invited. That might sound kinda pathetic but the reality is there were five people brave enough to come and talk about their lives and risk exposure to even more people in the community. Although I’m sure the free lunch did some of the persuading. Still, we were pleased to see these five. One older man, and his wife, both in their fifties maybe. Plus two older women, and one younger woman, like mid-twenties maybe. Also one of the women brought her two small girls, perhaps 3 and 5, who were both HIV+ as well.
We started with a dynamica led by Catie and I. We did the “we are going to a fiesta and everyone has to bring something that starts with the first letter of their name”. An oldie but a goodie. It had some of these older women in stitches. I can tell the idea of being purposely silly is not part of their day-to-day life. So something as simple as a lighthearted game to learn each other’s names left people in fits of laughter. [success!]
After our ice breaker, Dra. Rubi (my favorite counterpart and the doctora famous for her dental hygiene puppet shows) did the introductions. We were joined by two other facilitators: a guy from a Catholic Church organization and someone from the committee who did all the planning (yes that’s right, the number of meeting facilitators outnumbered the guests attending the meeting so what).
Our short presentation on self-esteem went pretty smoothly I’d say. I was glad to have Catie there to do some of the talking for me. I was also very pleased with the amount of discussion it spurred. We talked about why having a high level of self-esteem and self-worth is important for everyone, not just people living with a virus. Several shared examples from their lives – things that make them depressed and ways they can overcome the social stigma follows them like a storm-cloud wherever they go. (Based on their responses I think its safe to say that stigma and discrimination can be considerably more damaging than any viral load, and it will definitely be an issue we tackle in future sessions.)
The meeting was going fine until it was time for a short activity that we had planned to break up all the heavy talking. Catie and I had this great idea to give everyone a piece of paper and have them write their names vertically and come up with a positive adjective for each letter to describe themselves**. I figured it would be simple and fun and good for the self-esteem. That is, until one of the attendees sheepishly informed me that he and his wife could neither read nor write. Then he folded his hands in his lap and scooted his chair back from the table – universal sign language for “I’m not participating in this now”.
Boy did I feel bad. Partly because the second activity I had lined up involved reading statements off a card in front of the group. Oops.
How could I be so thoughtless? I’ve been here too long to be making rookie mistakes still. Although in my defense, I have been spending a lot of time recently working with kids in elementary school who might not be terribly creative, or able to follow complicated instructions, but they sure as shit can write their names. And in perfect lettering too. To make things worse, I got a look from the Church Director Guy that said “way to go, now you’re making them feel worse about themselves”.
Puchica.
Fortunately Doctora came to my rescue and sat down with one of the women and volunteered help her with the writing part. And she instructed the other facilitator guy to work with her husband. He was still pretty reluctant to participate and was visibly humiliated by the whole situation which only made me feel worse. But when we were all done, each person stood up to share their acronym with the group and everyone got a [very self-esteem boosting] round of applause. And one of the women even told me she was going to keep hers to remember good things when she’s having a bad day.
As with every other Peace Corps activity I have ever done, I walked away from this one counting the little successes of the day and learning from the mistakes. The next meeting isn’t till December, but we are hoping for a bigger turnout. And I will be putting careful consideration into whatever it is I’m in charge of next. Of that, I am sure.
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-Sarita
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*They stopped giving free lunches at the meetings
**If you can’t tell, I’m big on name games. It’s the only way I remember people anymore.
